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Advice to help you #HaveTheTalk

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Download our guide to discussing care with your loved ones, including tips from Dr Soha Daru. You will also receive an email with personalised guidance based on the answers you gave.

Here are some approaches to discuss the subject sensitively and openly:

  • Put yourself in their shoes and understand their fears and concerns.
    Listen to your loved ones' feelings, concerns and wishes regarding their future. Show empathy and understanding. Acknowledge that these conversations are difficult but necessary for their well-being and peace of mind.
  • Choose the right time and setting
    Initiate the conversation in a comfortable and private setting, free from distractions. Ensure it's a time when both you and your loved ones are calm and not rushed. Avoid bringing up the topic during stressful times or when emotions are running high.
  • Focus on independence and quality of life
    Frame the conversation around how care options can enhance their independence and quality of life. Emphasise that the goal is not to take away their autonomy but to ensure they have the support they need to continue living as they choose.
    To start the conversation, ask open-ended questions like "What do you think might happen if you had a fall and couldn't get to the phone?". Explain the risks and how these make you feel.
  • Provide information and options
    Rather than dictating what you think is best, present various options and information. Discuss the pros and cons of each and encourage them to express their preferences. This approach helps them feel involved and respected in the decision-making process.
  • Be patient and revisit the conversation
    These discussions might not be resolved in one sitting or even in the short-term. Your loved ones may need time to process the information and consider their feelings. Be patient and open to revisiting the conversation later.

Download guide

The level of support your loved ones need as they get older will change over time. There may be some things you can do now to help them before they need a higher level of care.

Browse our Care and Support resources for more information and guidance.

Care and Support resources